Friday, June 5, 2009

gloomy weather

we've been enjoying beautiful sunny weather for weeks in portland. 80+ degrees almost every day. it came to an end and now it's gloomy and rainy today. i'm stuck inside reading and learning.

i was thinking about what true happiness is. someone brought it up today. everyone is on the quest for it. everyone has a different definition. for some, true happiness may seem to be having a house, a successful career, getting married and having a family. for some, true happiness may seem to be from the comfort of having faith in a higher power. for me, true happiness is when you have nothing and you're happy. for me, true happiness is being happy without needing to seek material possessions or comfort from anything else. what is true happiness to you?

when we seek material things on the quest for happiness we will never be satisfied. there will always be an emptiness that never gets fulfilled. you will never be satisfied with that one thing and you'll move onto the next. it'll be a cycle that lasts your whole life unless you realize that happiness is what you create, not buy.

almost all people look for partners for true happiness. i know i'm young, but i can tell you for a fact that getting married will not be the one thing that makes you happy. not sure of the exact statistics but somewhere around 50% of marriages fail nowadays. i actually don't know any happily married couples that have been married more than 10 years. not a single one. what does that tell you? looking for happiness in a partner is not going to contribute to true happiness, because it puts your happiness in someone else's hands. true happiness is what you and you alone make it. please don't depend on someone else to make it for you. if you don't have the happiness before you get married then you certainly won't have it after you get married.

some find artificial joys in alcohol, smoking, shopping, drinking, drugs, food, etc. these are not real joys, but addictions. living a life of indulgences, whether it's junk food, alcohol, coffee, soda, smoking, shopping, eating meat, etc. is a life not really lived and felt to the fullest, it's a life full of distractions, dependence, artificial comfort, stimulants (emotionally and physically), addictions, ups and downs, diseases, pain, emptiness and trying to fill that emptiness with more indulgences. we need to step back and take a look at what our lives have become. if eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, etc. is what makes you happy then you're really missing meaning in your life. there's so much more we can do instead of being a slave to our addictions. does alcohol, food, cigarettes, soda, coffee, etc. love you back? does it nourish your body? does it add to your character or benefit your mind? no, it does just the opposite. it causes disease. it takes away your feeling. it takes away years of your life.

people think just because they aren't doing drugs or aren't alcoholics that they don't have addictions. let me tell you, even the healthiest people have addictions. they come in many different forms. i used to be addicted to shopping and food. like most other women, shopping used to be one of my hobbies. what a horrible hobby! i didn't realize that i was using shopping to try and fill an emptiness. something that it never cured, but actually kept perpetuating. i always thought, oh i will be really happy if i can find these boots. once i got them, i wasn't satisfied. i moved on to the next article of clothing. if you need that designer purse or that pair of boots to be happy then you are definitely missing meaning in your life. My next addiction food, had been the center of my world for a long time and i was missing out on so much because of it. going out to eat or preparing a meal became my joy and way of socializing. it also became a way to numb my feelings of boredom and discontentment. meanwhile, i was missing out on a bigger picture. i was missing out on really living. i am looking at food as nourishment now, not as joy. i am eating to live, not living to eat!

i found a great website about addictions. i really recommend reading it.

here's a quote from the site:

"Looking for love in all the wrong places, in a bottle, a needle, an orgasm, a casino, a shopping mall. Whatever our substance or behavior of choice, we hope that this time it will fill the emptiness in our soul, but the hole doesn't get filled, and the behavior goes on and on. By the time we realize we are hurting ourselves, we are already well into the grips of addiction. We must learn what pain we are trying to numb, or what void we are trying to fill, and then learn ways to relieve our internal pressures in healthier more long lasting ways, such as improving self-esteem, learning to soothe our anxiety and fear and finding a deeper meaning to our life."

on another note, here's some great clips to watch. some things to think about:

read this:

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